My Real Experience With Romance Fraud and the Road to Recovery

Introduction

A few years ago, I became a victim of a romance scam. At the time, I truly believed, “There’s no way this could happen to me.” But in the end, I suffered a significant financial loss and deep emotional damage.

On this page, I summarize:

• The full picture of my experience
• Typical tactics used in romance scams
• What to do after discovering the fraud
• How recovery actually progresses

➡ I’m sharing this so others won’t fall into the same trap.

Timeline of What Happened to Me

My experience unfolded in several stages.

① The First Contact — Building Trust

• Approached through social media or messaging apps
• Friendly, natural conversations
• Gradually creating emotional closeness and trust

➡ At this stage, it’s almost impossible to notice the scam.

② The Investment Trap

• “For our future,” “Let’s become wealthy together”
• Starting with small amounts, then increasing
• Fake “official-looking” websites and supposed account managers

➡ LINE誘導 (moving to LINE) and multiple accounts are classic tactics.

③ Growing Doubt and Anxiety

• Unable to withdraw funds
• Asked to send more money
• Stories becoming inconsistent

➡ This is the last chance to notice something is wrong.

④ Realizing the Truth — And the Collapse

• They disappear
• You realize the money will never come back
• Overwhelming regret and self-blame

⑤ Reporting and Seeking Help

• Filing a police report
• But recovery of funds is extremely difficult
• Emotional wounds remain long after

⑥ The Long Road to Recovery

• Sleep problems, anxiety
• Slowly rebuilding daily life

➡ Only recently have I finally begun to feel stable again.

Key Characteristics of Romance Scams (You Must Know These)

From my experience, these patterns are extremely common.

■ Sweet, persuasive words

• “Guaranteed profit”
• “Only for you”
• “For our future”

➡ Anything that sounds “too easy” should raise suspicion.

■ Moving the conversation to LINE or another app

• Starts normally
• Then shifts to a private platform

➡ This is extremely common in scams.

■ Suspicious URLs and websites

• Fake sites designed to look real
• Long, unnatural URLs

➡ If something feels off, never enter your information.

What You Should Do If You Suspect You’re a Victim

For anyone feeling uneasy right now:

1. Stop sending money immediately
2. Save all evidence (LINE, emails, bank transfers)
3. Consult the police or consumer center
4. Tell someone you trust

➡ Suffering alone is the most dangerous situation.

※ Never trust websites claiming “We can get your money back.” Secondary scams are extremely common.

What I Want You to Know

Through this experience, I realized several important truths.

■ Anyone can become a victim

It’s not about intelligence or personality. Ordinary people are targeted every day.

■ It’s not something to be ashamed of

I couldn’t talk about it at first. But now I can say clearly:

➡ The one at fault is the scammer, not you.

■ The experience wasn’t meaningless

I learned:

• The value of money
• How to evaluate information
• How to protect myself in online relationships

Nearly three years have passed. I’m not completely healed. Sometimes the memories still return.

Even so— I’m finally beginning to move forward again.

A Message to You

Thank you for reading this far.

I have compiled the full story into a book. It includes details I couldn’t fully share on the blog— why I didn’t notice the scam, why I couldn’t stop, and how the situation escalated.

It’s available on Kindle for anyone who wants a deeper understanding or needs guidance during a similar situation.

If you are:

• Feeling uneasy
• Unable to talk to anyone

Please remember:

➡ Your sense of “something is wrong” is valid. ➡ Taking a moment to pause can save you.

Next Steps

This episode concludes the story of what happened. From the next chapter onward, I will focus on recovery and what we can learn from this experience.

From here, I will explain:

➡ Why people fall for scams ➡ How to prevent them

based on my real experience.

Chapter 13 begins the recovery series, where I reflect on how I rebuilt my life after the scam.

There were nights when I couldn’t sleep at all. I relied on prescribed sleeping pills— four or five nights a week.

I was worried about becoming dependent. But the pain of not sleeping was worse.

Still, things gradually began to change.

Around last November, I started having nights when I could sleep without medication. Not perfectly, but enough to feel that I was no longer in “that dark place.”

I even tried GABA supplements. I’m not sure if they helped, but I was desperate to do something.

Over these three years, my savings have increased— just a little.

When I look at the asset graph in my bank app, I see the sharp drop in June 2023. Every time I see it, I think:

That was the pitfall of my life.

Even so, I now try to focus on staying healthy.

On my days off, I move my body— swimming, cycling, or using the gym when the weather is bad.

Especially when I’m climbing a hill on my bike. In that moment, my mind becomes completely blank.

It’s one of the few times I can stop thinking about everything.

There’s a TV program I used to enjoy called Kokoro Tabi. I still remember a line from it:

“In life, the downhill is the best part.”

Ironically, my own “downhill” turned out to be the worst one imaginable.

Even so— I can’t stop. I have to keep moving, one step at a time.

I once had a dream.

A house in the countryside. A quiet life—reading on rainy days, working outdoors on sunny ones.

In the spring of 2023, I was close to making that dream real. I found a property, signed the contract, and the handover was scheduled for late June.

But just before that, I lost my funds to the scam.

I couldn’t complete the purchase.

I explained the situation to the real estate company, but canceling the contract meant paying a penalty. They reduced the amount and allowed installments, and I paid it off over about a year.

I must have been desperate back then.

As a result, that dream slipped away.

Even now, though, I sometimes browse rural property listings. I haven’t given up completely.

But I also know I have to consider how much time I have left.

Still, I want to keep moving forward— even if slowly.

I’m still recovering. There are still nights when I can’t sleep.

End of Episode 11(Part2)

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Nearly three years have passed since the fraud. Looking back now, it feels like time slipped away faster than I expected.

But the question remains: Has anything truly changed since then?

To be honest, it wasn’t something I could simply “get over.”

Right after discovering the fraud, everything was chaos— talking to the lawyer, hoping for a refund, filing a police report. I was just trying to survive each day.

But in reality, the hardest part came afterward.

The sheer size of the loss. The moment I realized the money was truly gone. Accepting that reality felt impossible.

I don’t even remember whether it was a week or a month. My sense of time blurred.

Whenever I checked my bank account and saw what was left, a slow, creeping fear would rise inside me.

This was supposed to be my retirement fund.

Once that thought hit me, the weight of reality pressed down hard.

I had a fixed-term deposit— ten years, about two million yen. I broke it early. Naturally, the amount returned was less than what I had put in.

Even so, I just wanted to keep whatever money I could.

Originally, I had planned to retire that year. But that was no longer an option.

I had to keep working. I had to rebuild, even if only little by little.

Fortunately, my contract was extended. So I told myself, “Just one more year.”

I try not to touch my pension and save as much as possible.

I know I can’t recover everything I lost. But even if it’s slow, I have to rebuild what I can.

That’s how I’ve been living.

End of Episode 11 (Part 1)

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Facing the sleeping pills

I began taking the sleeping medication.

I wanted to rely on it as little as possible. But reality wasn’t that simple.

I depended on it four to five times a week.

Slowly reducing the number of days

Even so, I tried to reduce the frequency little by little.

“Tonight, I’ll try to sleep without it.”

I added more of those nights, one at a time.

It took time. There was no quick improvement.

When change finally arrived

Still— around November 2025, something shifted.

I began to have more nights when I could sleep without medication.

The reality that hasn’t changed

Nothing has been resolved.

My money hasn’t returned. My situation hasn’t improved.

But something did change

What changed was— my feelings.

Back then, all I could do was blame myself.

But now, I’m slowly learning to accept what happened.

What I lost, what I regained

In the end, I didn’t get anything back.

And yet— I am gradually reclaiming my daily life.

To those who are suffering in the same way

There were days when the pain kept me from sleeping. But with time, the weight slowly eased.

If someone out there is suffering the same way, I want to tell you this:

It takes time. But—little by little, it becomes easier.

End of Episode 10 (Part 2)

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After filing the police report, I found myself unable to do anything.

I felt there was nothing more I could do. And so— time simply passed.

It was what people call “crying yourself to sleep,” except I couldn’t even sleep.

I felt frustration, fear, and regret. Yet there was nothing I could change.

All I could do was let time sort out my emotions.

I tried to move forward. I tried not to dwell on it. I tried to return to my daily life.

But— in quiet moments, the memories returned.

“Why didn’t I notice it then?” “What could I have done to prevent it?”

No matter how much I thought about it, there were no answers. The same regrets circled endlessly in my mind.

And there was one more thing— a feeling that never left me.

I had caused trouble for my family.

That reality pierced my heart again and again.

Around September 2024, something changed.

I couldn’t sleep at night.

Even when I went to bed, I couldn’t fall asleep. And even when I finally did, I woke up several times during the night.

The same thoughts repeated in my head:

“Why didn’t I notice it then?” “What could I have done to prevent it?”

Unable to bear it, I went to an internal medicine clinic.

But I didn’t mention the scam.

I only said, “I can’t sleep.”

The doctor told me that many older adults struggle with sleep. Then I was prescribed sleeping medication.

I hesitated. I was afraid of becoming dependent.

But the sleepless nights continued.

End of Episode 10 (Part 1)

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And What Came After

The Reality of the Police Report — And What Came After**

On my fourth visit to the police station, the officer in charge told me:

“Your police report is complete.”

The document placed in front of me had far more pages than I expected.

All the materials I had submitted — the LINE messages, the bank transfer records, every piece of evidence — had been organized into a single case file.

For a moment, I thought:

“If it’s this thorough, maybe something will finally move forward.”

But the words that followed were not what I imagined.

“This is where things come to a close.” “You may not get your money back.”

Then he added:

“Crimes committed overseas using the internet are extremely difficult to investigate.” “In many cases, the criminals’ IT skills exceed what investigators can track.”

I was at a loss for words.

Part of me had believed that once I filed a report, the police would take action — that they would pursue the criminals.

But reality was different.

Even if you file a police report, it does not guarantee an investigation. That decision lies entirely with the police.

Still, I had no other options. All I could do was leave it in their hands.

After that, I began researching on my own, looking for any possible way to recover even a small amount of money.

That’s when I learned about the Deposit Insurance Corporation of Japan, which publishes announcements under the “Remittance Fraud Damage Recovery Act.”

When a scammer’s bank account is frozen, its remaining balance is listed publicly. If the account you transferred money to is included, the remaining funds are distributed among the victims.

I allowed myself a small hope:

“Maybe a little might come back.”

I checked the listings. I had transferred money to 16 different accounts.

Only 5 of them had any remaining balance.

But the amounts were shockingly small.

One account, for example, had only 2,000 yen left.

That tiny balance would be divided among multiple victims.

Naturally, the amount I would receive was even smaller.

To be honest—

The reality was far from what the word “recovery” made me imagine.

The system exists. But the money you actually get back is minimal.

That was my experience.

Even so, I had no other path to take. I had to leave it to the system.

There was one more exchange that stayed with me.

The officer asked:

“May we make this case public?”

He explained that publishing it could help prevent similar crimes.

I thought for a moment and answered:

“Please don’t make it public.”

My reason was simple.

I didn’t want my family — who live in the same area — to worry unnecessarily.

I had told my child that I was a victim of fraud, but if the details were published, they would immediately know it was me.

So I asked them not to disclose it.

The police then handed me a single sheet of paper titled “Contact Memo.”

• Report date and time: July 24, 2023, 17:00
• Criminal case acceptance number: 2023-395
• ○○ Police Station, Criminal Affairs Division

And in the notes section:

“This memo is not an official certificate of report acceptance.”

That sentence left a strange impression on me.

After that—

I never received any contact from the police.

I called once to ask about the status, but they told me:

“We cannot confirm anything.”

Since then, there has been no communication at all.

Looking back now, I think this was the moment when one chapter ended.

The stage where I had to accept reality.

And after this, I would face an even more difficult period in a different form.

Next time: Episode 10 – Sleepless Nights The hardest part came after the scam itself.

End of Episode 9 – Part 2

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Filing a Police Report

Filing a Police Report — A Quiet, Unemotional Process**

After realizing it was a scam, I contacted a lawyer and, around the same time, went to the police for help.

I visited my local police station.

Two officers spoke with me at first. After that, one investigator continued handling my case. He was likely a detective — he was in plain clothes, not a uniform.

During the first consultation, I explained the entire situation verbally.

To be honest, it didn’t feel like they were “emotionally supporting” me. Their approach was calm, steady, and focused only on confirming the facts.

And in that conversation, there was one question I will never forget:

“Where did such a large amount of money come from in the first place?”

For a moment, I couldn’t speak.

I knew he wasn’t blaming me. It was just a factual question. But still, it pierced something deep inside.

I am not a special person.

I changed jobs a few times, but I was fortunate to work in good environments. I simply worked steadily and saved little by little over many years.

Even so, the amount I lost must have seemed “unusual.”

At that moment, I was forced to confront the true scale of what I had lost.

The police then gave me several instructions:

• Submit the bank account information I transferred money to
• Provide all LINE message records
• Organize and submit all evidence

They also explained that they would begin the process of freezing the scammer’s bank account.

I told them that my lawyer had already requested the freeze through the financial institution.

Even so, the police said they would file a separate freeze request through their own channels.

At that time, I still had a faint hope:

“Maybe I can still get my money back.”

But reality was not that simple.

In the next part, I will share how the documents were submitted, how the police handled the case, and how the report gradually took shape.

End of Episode 9 – Part 1

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Attorney Retainer Agreement

A few days later, documents arrived from the lawyer.

Two copies of a Attorney Retainer Agreement.

But I didn’t sign them. I didn’t send them back.

Something felt wrong. The discomfort inside me kept growing.

So I made a decision:

“I want to cancel and get a refund.”

Eventually, the money returned to me was—

Only 80,000 yen.

I had paid 500,000 yen. Only 80,000 yen came back.

I demanded an explanation.

“What exactly did you investigate?”

Later, they sent me a single sheet of paper.

It contained only domain information for what looked like an overseas brokerage website.

The moment I saw it, I understood:

“They didn’t investigate anything.” Or perhaps— “Even if they did, it was meaningless.”

Then the lawyer told me:

“We have refunded you. Do not contact us again.”

And on top of that, they made me sign a memorandum stating that I must keep all previous communications confidential.

That was when the truth hit me:

I had lost money in the first scam— and then lost money again when seeking help.

This was secondary victimization.

A Message to Readers

Right after being scammed, people desperately want to “get their money back.”

And there are those who prey on that desperation.

• “We can recover it immediately”
• “If you don’t act now, it will be too late”
• “You can pay later”

If you hear these words, please stop and take a breath.

The Lawyer’s True Identity

The lawyer I hired was indeed registered with the Tokyo Bar Association.

But I kept researching him.

Eventually, I found an announcement on the Tokyo Bar Association’s official website.

Dated December 17, 2025

It stated:

“Due to the finalization of a criminal judgment in which the attorney was a defendant in a fraud case, his registration was canceled on November 21, 2025, under Article 17, Item 1 of the Attorney Act.”

I was speechless.

The person I had trusted— the person I had turned to for help— had been disciplined for fraud.

I had been deceived again.

End of Episode 8 – Part 2

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“Give me my money back!”

Those were the last words I shouted. And from that moment, the real nightmare began.

Desperate to recover my losses, I searched online for ways to “get my money back.” Hundreds of results appeared instantly.

Among them, one Tokyo-based law firm stood out. It ranked near the top of the search results and displayed bold claims:

• “Many successful refund cases”
• “Act now—your money can still be recovered”
• “Speed is everything”

I wanted to believe it.

“Maybe they can help me.”

So I contacted them through LINE.

A Late-Night Call

Around 10 p.m. that same night, my phone rang.

The man on the line spoke calmly and confidently:

• He said he was a licensed attorney
• He claimed to belong to the Tokyo Bar Association
• He insisted the bank account I transferred money to must be frozen immediately

Then he said the words that made my mind go blank:

“This is a romance scam.”

I followed his instructions and provided the account information.

That’s when the pressure began.

The Hard Sell

“We’ll start the account-freezing procedure right away,” he said.

I asked about the cost.

The amount he quoted was shockingly high.

“Because the damage is large, the fee will be around ○,○○○,000 yen.”

I told him I didn’t have that kind of money left.

He immediately replied:

“You can pay by credit card.”

I repeated that I barely had any money.

Without missing a beat, he said:

“500,000 yen should be manageable.”

Then came the pressure:

• “You can pay by card”
• “If we don’t act now, it will be too late”
• “The account must be frozen immediately”

He repeated these points again and again.

I wasn’t thinking clearly anymore.

“If this can help me get my money back…”

That hope pushed me to agree.

Minutes later, an email arrived with a payment link.

And just like that—

500,000 yen was charged to my card.

End of Episode 8 – Part 1

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Author: Tasogare Category: Personal Experience

This article is based on my real experience with an investment scam. I share it to help prevent further victims.

I had reached my limit.

“Just a little more and it will be returned.” I had heard that line so many times. And I kept paying.

But not once did the money ever come back.

Then they demanded yet another payment— an amount far beyond what any ordinary person would consider reasonable.

That was the moment I finally understood everything.

This wasn’t an investment. It was a scam.

For the first time, I made the decision to stop.

The email I sent was short.

“I will cancel the withdrawal. I will reduce the amount.” “Cancel the large withdrawal immediately. I will not use any other large settlement system.”

And finally:

“Give me my money back!”

Those were my last words.

But no reply ever came.

In that moment, everything ended.

The money I thought I could recover was gone forever.

All that remained was regret and emptiness.

This was the conclusion of my experience.

End of Episode 7 – Part 2

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