My Real Experience With Romance Fraud and the Road to Recovery

Introduction

A few years ago, I became a victim of a romance scam. At the time, I truly believed, “There’s no way this could happen to me.” But in the end, I suffered a significant financial loss and deep emotional damage.

On this page, I summarize:

• The full picture of my experience
• Typical tactics used in romance scams
• What to do after discovering the fraud
• How recovery actually progresses

➡ I’m sharing this so others won’t fall into the same trap.

Timeline of What Happened to Me

My experience unfolded in several stages.

① The First Contact — Building Trust

• Approached through social media or messaging apps
• Friendly, natural conversations
• Gradually creating emotional closeness and trust

➡ At this stage, it’s almost impossible to notice the scam.

② The Investment Trap

• “For our future,” “Let’s become wealthy together”
• Starting with small amounts, then increasing
• Fake “official-looking” websites and supposed account managers

➡ LINE誘導 (moving to LINE) and multiple accounts are classic tactics.

③ Growing Doubt and Anxiety

• Unable to withdraw funds
• Asked to send more money
• Stories becoming inconsistent

➡ This is the last chance to notice something is wrong.

④ Realizing the Truth — And the Collapse

• They disappear
• You realize the money will never come back
• Overwhelming regret and self-blame

⑤ Reporting and Seeking Help

• Filing a police report
• But recovery of funds is extremely difficult
• Emotional wounds remain long after

⑥ The Long Road to Recovery

• Sleep problems, anxiety
• Slowly rebuilding daily life

➡ Only recently have I finally begun to feel stable again.

Key Characteristics of Romance Scams (You Must Know These)

From my experience, these patterns are extremely common.

■ Sweet, persuasive words

• “Guaranteed profit”
• “Only for you”
• “For our future”

➡ Anything that sounds “too easy” should raise suspicion.

■ Moving the conversation to LINE or another app

• Starts normally
• Then shifts to a private platform

➡ This is extremely common in scams.

■ Suspicious URLs and websites

• Fake sites designed to look real
• Long, unnatural URLs

➡ If something feels off, never enter your information.

What You Should Do If You Suspect You’re a Victim

For anyone feeling uneasy right now:

1. Stop sending money immediately
2. Save all evidence (LINE, emails, bank transfers)
3. Consult the police or consumer center
4. Tell someone you trust

➡ Suffering alone is the most dangerous situation.

※ Never trust websites claiming “We can get your money back.” Secondary scams are extremely common.

What I Want You to Know

Through this experience, I realized several important truths.

■ Anyone can become a victim

It’s not about intelligence or personality. Ordinary people are targeted every day.

■ It’s not something to be ashamed of

I couldn’t talk about it at first. But now I can say clearly:

➡ The one at fault is the scammer, not you.

■ The experience wasn’t meaningless

I learned:

• The value of money
• How to evaluate information
• How to protect myself in online relationships

Nearly three years have passed. I’m not completely healed. Sometimes the memories still return.

Even so— I’m finally beginning to move forward again.

A Message to You

Thank you for reading this far.

I have compiled the full story into a book. It includes details I couldn’t fully share on the blog— why I didn’t notice the scam, why I couldn’t stop, and how the situation escalated.

It’s available on Kindle for anyone who wants a deeper understanding or needs guidance during a similar situation.

If you are:

• Feeling uneasy
• Unable to talk to anyone

Please remember:

➡ Your sense of “something is wrong” is valid. ➡ Taking a moment to pause can save you.

Next Steps

This episode concludes the story of what happened. From the next chapter onward, I will focus on recovery and what we can learn from this experience.

From here, I will explain:

➡ Why people fall for scams ➡ How to prevent them

based on my real experience.

Chapter 13 begins the recovery series, where I reflect on how I rebuilt my life after the scam.

There were nights when I couldn’t sleep at all. I relied on prescribed sleeping pills— four or five nights a week.

I was worried about becoming dependent. But the pain of not sleeping was worse.

Still, things gradually began to change.

Around last November, I started having nights when I could sleep without medication. Not perfectly, but enough to feel that I was no longer in “that dark place.”

I even tried GABA supplements. I’m not sure if they helped, but I was desperate to do something.

Over these three years, my savings have increased— just a little.

When I look at the asset graph in my bank app, I see the sharp drop in June 2023. Every time I see it, I think:

That was the pitfall of my life.

Even so, I now try to focus on staying healthy.

On my days off, I move my body— swimming, cycling, or using the gym when the weather is bad.

Especially when I’m climbing a hill on my bike. In that moment, my mind becomes completely blank.

It’s one of the few times I can stop thinking about everything.

There’s a TV program I used to enjoy called Kokoro Tabi. I still remember a line from it:

“In life, the downhill is the best part.”

Ironically, my own “downhill” turned out to be the worst one imaginable.

Even so— I can’t stop. I have to keep moving, one step at a time.

I once had a dream.

A house in the countryside. A quiet life—reading on rainy days, working outdoors on sunny ones.

In the spring of 2023, I was close to making that dream real. I found a property, signed the contract, and the handover was scheduled for late June.

But just before that, I lost my funds to the scam.

I couldn’t complete the purchase.

I explained the situation to the real estate company, but canceling the contract meant paying a penalty. They reduced the amount and allowed installments, and I paid it off over about a year.

I must have been desperate back then.

As a result, that dream slipped away.

Even now, though, I sometimes browse rural property listings. I haven’t given up completely.

But I also know I have to consider how much time I have left.

Still, I want to keep moving forward— even if slowly.

I’m still recovering. There are still nights when I can’t sleep.

End of Episode 11(Part2)

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Nearly three years have passed since the fraud. Looking back now, it feels like time slipped away faster than I expected.

But the question remains: Has anything truly changed since then?

To be honest, it wasn’t something I could simply “get over.”

Right after discovering the fraud, everything was chaos— talking to the lawyer, hoping for a refund, filing a police report. I was just trying to survive each day.

But in reality, the hardest part came afterward.

The sheer size of the loss. The moment I realized the money was truly gone. Accepting that reality felt impossible.

I don’t even remember whether it was a week or a month. My sense of time blurred.

Whenever I checked my bank account and saw what was left, a slow, creeping fear would rise inside me.

This was supposed to be my retirement fund.

Once that thought hit me, the weight of reality pressed down hard.

I had a fixed-term deposit— ten years, about two million yen. I broke it early. Naturally, the amount returned was less than what I had put in.

Even so, I just wanted to keep whatever money I could.

Originally, I had planned to retire that year. But that was no longer an option.

I had to keep working. I had to rebuild, even if only little by little.

Fortunately, my contract was extended. So I told myself, “Just one more year.”

I try not to touch my pension and save as much as possible.

I know I can’t recover everything I lost. But even if it’s slow, I have to rebuild what I can.

That’s how I’ve been living.

End of Episode 11 (Part 1)

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Facing the sleeping pills

I began taking the sleeping medication.

I wanted to rely on it as little as possible. But reality wasn’t that simple.

I depended on it four to five times a week.

Slowly reducing the number of days

Even so, I tried to reduce the frequency little by little.

“Tonight, I’ll try to sleep without it.”

I added more of those nights, one at a time.

It took time. There was no quick improvement.

When change finally arrived

Still— around November 2025, something shifted.

I began to have more nights when I could sleep without medication.

The reality that hasn’t changed

Nothing has been resolved.

My money hasn’t returned. My situation hasn’t improved.

But something did change

What changed was— my feelings.

Back then, all I could do was blame myself.

But now, I’m slowly learning to accept what happened.

What I lost, what I regained

In the end, I didn’t get anything back.

And yet— I am gradually reclaiming my daily life.

To those who are suffering in the same way

There were days when the pain kept me from sleeping. But with time, the weight slowly eased.

If someone out there is suffering the same way, I want to tell you this:

It takes time. But—little by little, it becomes easier.

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After filing the police report, I found myself unable to do anything.

I felt there was nothing more I could do. And so— time simply passed.

It was what people call “crying yourself to sleep,” except I couldn’t even sleep.

I felt frustration, fear, and regret. Yet there was nothing I could change.

All I could do was let time sort out my emotions.

I tried to move forward. I tried not to dwell on it. I tried to return to my daily life.

But— in quiet moments, the memories returned.

“Why didn’t I notice it then?” “What could I have done to prevent it?”

No matter how much I thought about it, there were no answers. The same regrets circled endlessly in my mind.

And there was one more thing— a feeling that never left me.

I had caused trouble for my family.

That reality pierced my heart again and again.

Around September 2024, something changed.

I couldn’t sleep at night.

Even when I went to bed, I couldn’t fall asleep. And even when I finally did, I woke up several times during the night.

The same thoughts repeated in my head:

“Why didn’t I notice it then?” “What could I have done to prevent it?”

Unable to bear it, I went to an internal medicine clinic.

But I didn’t mention the scam.

I only said, “I can’t sleep.”

The doctor told me that many older adults struggle with sleep. Then I was prescribed sleeping medication.

I hesitated. I was afraid of becoming dependent.

But the sleepless nights continued.

End of Episode 10 (Part 1)

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